I was asked to provide some of the notes from my speech at Womanition – Here it is with all the spelling and grammatical errors included:
I am going to take a moment – and I invite you to take a breath with me and just appreciate this exact moment in time, come into this space and be present with me….
My purpose today is to give you all 3 tools to take with you so that you can come back in your mind’s eye to this place of motivation and inspiration – and although those words are similar, I believe they are unique in very small but very meaningful ways.
Right now I feel inspired and I am internally encouraged and I have taken my notes: added to my list of things to explore and “to do”.
But, what happens when “now” fades from the mind’s eye, and I have a daunting “to-do” list? What keeps me motivated when I feel Uninspired?
Motivation is a fickle friend coming and going in waves- motivation is your INTERNAL desire to perform or change – a good coach can inspire you which motivates you to move from the place you are.
Make no mistake motivation is not a replacement for work ethic or determination. Your success is in part based on your ability to do what needs to be done even when you don’t feel “motivated to do it” Your motivation is like that of a fire ignited by your dream and fueled by your passion –
We are all motivated to change for one of two reasons –
#1. We are so dissatisfied with our current circumstances we cannot stand for one more moment – we all know the person who stands up one day and enough is enough – I quit!!
#2. We have a vision of the change with such clarity that we can touch and taste it – My friend Pauleen – They offered her a job in New Zealand with a house on the beach – she had to take it – cant you see it??
Without a vision of where we go -the motivation fizzles out quickly – I feel love and excitement about moving to New Zealand – in contrast I feel fear about the future just walking out of a paying job with no idea what she is going to do– fear is fizzeling
This moment right now- I take a breath
This moment took many directions before landing here and I do not enter into the next few minutes lightly.
I thought of baffling you with my brilliance and explaining how the brain works around motivation – but, I decided to be a little more personal and trust this room with a piece of me.
We all need a vision – or we fizzle- I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine, she cannot be here BUT, she is one of my greatest mentors and has inspired me more than I could ever say in the time remaining.
In her late 30’s she left a dysfunctional marriage and moved provinces with two little girls in tow. She had a vision of a better life and she literally packed up her belongings and drove towards it. She worked a multitude of positions making ends meet – ranging from cleaning toilets to selling homes.
Before this she had been diagnosed with Breast and uterine cancer in the early 80’s and, in “remission” she forages’ on. Her story is messy and muddled in 1993 she was diagnosed with a brain tumor, lupus fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue oh and because that day was not bad enough rheumatoid arthritis.
The medical profession gave her little hope and instructed her to ease the burden on her family by making her arrangements; she went home and made arrangements alright- to go to school – learning everything she could about what her body was doing. I joined her for much of it – taking notes and acting in her stead when she was too ill to attend, she had a vision of a clinic that would treat the un-treatable. Hope for the hopeless. She once again went into remission… but kept her vision. She kept going to school and she kept working alongside her physicians on a treatment plan that would be applied in synergy to the conventional medicine she was receiving. In 1997 she was invited to tell 10 people HOW she was still among the living – if you’re counting that’s just under 17 years of struggle and sickness. When we arrived there were 110 people spilling into the yard waiting to hear what we had to say – and part of her vision was realized, the first of 8 clinics was born. And a million dollar business arose
She went on to be diagnosed with breast cancer 4 more times – countless surgeries, rounds of chemotherapy, and radiation … this last time in 2007 – Breast cancer in the liver gave us the gift of time – the gift of focused time is a brilliant thing, death can be one of our greatest teachers, we lived every day as if it was our last with our mother – because it was. I have no regrets. when she passed away on mother’s day almost 10 years ago she passed as Dr Debra Isaac. And yes that title embodies a lot of who she was on this earth.
We had countless arguments while she “built her business” vs “fought for health” and yes the two were at odds – business took her time and her energy which was a precious commodity for her health – for her life… – her slogan was if not me WHO? And she lived it. My sister asked her in her final days what motivated her to get up every morning and do what she did – her answer was simple “you do the best you can for your kids and go to bed tired” – there is more to that tho, ****I have some of her journals*** my mom had a vision to BE Dr Isaac… and every time I would come at her Yelling that her health was more important than some wretched clinic, that she was searching for PIE in the sky – she did not allow me to touch her vision, she would ask me “realistically” what do I see happening – would I prefer her to lie down and wait for death? Because; the time for that would come, but it was not now. She worked her vision all-the-time: she bought furniture for her clinic that she did not yet have- I remember her sitting in the leather burgundy arm chair, on the storeroom floor 10 years before she would have her clinic realized – she swiveled around and stated “DR Isaac” in her chemo hat- and I am shamed but I laughed at her and the absurdity of her vision in that moment (I never believed she would / could do it) she bought shoes and wore them around the house – stating she would hold seminars in these shoes… and against the odds – she did.
I invite you to stand in YOUR vision, the most important thing- what shoes are you wearing? What colors do you see? What do you smell? And when your critic raises up- implore your realist to stand in defense of your vision, never allowing your critic to speak directly to your vision – always use the realist as your mediator
Point 2- Recognizing weather you are internally or externally motivated is essential for your success as you align with those who help keep you on track –
I realized some time ago that I had been speaking to my husband in a de-motivating way – (allow me to explain)
If we were to imagine for a moment that we are best friends -Imagine that we attend a paint night – and as you stand back and admire your work you come to realize that yours is the best in the room – How do you KNOW this to be true? When I answered the question I answered it from an INTERNALLY MOTIVATED perspective – I WOULD JUST KNOW! I would know it in the depth of my bones. My husband however when asked the same question – responds with “the teacher would tell me”…. This means that he is EXTERNALLY MOTIVATED – when I begin a conversation built around his internal drive – I have lost part the ability to connect with him. He is looking for the clients and teachers in his life to tell him that he has done a great job, he needs to align with a cheerleader or mentor-type coach. And he needs to hear from ME that he is wonderful – I however will loose trust with you if you tell me I am doing a great job If I don’t already believe it in my bones – BUT if I do believe it – I feel it a waste of air as … well…. I already know, duh 😉 through the years of marriage the more I pushed my husband to not rely on me for his accolades the more he seeks them from his work – however because we are always growing – just when I thought I had him figured out, and realized this was the case – he switched to being a master in his field and “Knowing” he did a great job – I of course being a superior wife switched motivational tactics immediately and did not waste any breath … *this is of course sarcasm at its finest* 😉 –
my point is that we can transition from one way to the next even within the same situation. I know it gets confusing as we transition back and fourth – some days I need to hear that I am a good wife, mother, friend or sister and sometimes- well DUH! Tell me something I don’t know 😉 I invite you to bring this awareness to all situations as you ask yourself HOW I am motivated in this situation. Do I need to align with a cheerleader to tell me I am doing a great job and help keep that fire lit? Or do I need a coach that will ask questions to help me go deeper into my understanding of what I want? And who I am becoming as I get it. And a good coach can do both.
Point 3- Away from and towards – My husband and my mother could not have been more different in this area. My mother worked towards greatness my husband works away from mediocrity, My Mother towards financial freedom and independence – my husband- away from debt and dependence *****and so on *****when I speak to my husband in such a way that I propel him TOWARDS the future I lose my ability to connect with him –he shuts down – I however will spin in negativity if you lead with what we are working away from. I shut down.
Working “away from” is USUALLY identified with someone who is so dissatisfied that they don’t know what they will do but it wont be *____FILL IN THE BLANK___* this is a motivation to be sure – however this thinking alone, without a vision, will lead your through life’s maze back to the starting point of discouragement and dissatisfaction – you must first and always create your vision of what you truly want. Very personally and truly I struggle as I believe once I commit to a vision- IT IS set in stone and well, I have commitment issues and what if I get what I want and decide I want something else entirely ? I have given myself permission to change my vision whenever I want. (Because that serves me) others rest in the security of having one vision to work towards.
Conclusion- Nike cornered the market – Just do it! Don’t get caught in the motivational “crap trap” waiting to “Feel” like it : many days my mom was sick and we left her Chemo appointment and went straight to see one of her clients across the street at the UofA – she just did it – even when she didn’t “feel” like it because she had a vision, and each day she took another step towards it
So, I invite you, FIND your vision, develop it, sit in it – buy the shoes, sit in the swivel chair – feel the chair ease and give way beneath your frame
Protect your vision from the critics Allow ONLY your realist to speak with your vision – as royalty is protected so is your vision, and only the realist may approach. While the inner critics may be noisy they stand only in the outer courtyard, and are filtered thru your wisest, higher self.
Find your mode of motivation – Identify what you are externally motivated to do, and what you are internally motivated to do. THEN – Choose YOUR CIRCLE. Choose those who will align with you, to externally move you to stay internally driven to your vision.
In closing I would like to say thank you- over the last few months I have asked myself what would motivate me to do THIS… while I am accustomed to speaking in small groups –this pushed me out of my comfort zone into an area of growth. While I was in school in Vancouver I had a vision, and you all were in it. I was wearing my purple sexy shoes and I was teaching beautiful women -things that I had learned -from a Stage. I had a vision, years ago and every day I take a step towards it. I stand in protection of it – and it is a living thing with room for change and growth (just like me) I aligned with people that pushed me and kept me in line with my vision -so thank you – all of you, for being part of my vision and for allowing one of my dreams to come true – and I’m so excited for where we all go from here.