Like many people I have a list of things “TO DO”.
I lovingly refer to it as “My Dinosaur” A wise woman once asked me: and how do you eat a Dinosaur? One bite at a time.
Every day I take a bite. Sometimes I bite off more than I can chew – and I have to leave it on my plate for another day. Today as I looked at my list it overwhelmed me, I could not think of where to start.
To start, my husband is sick. He went to work sick. I would like to make him a comforting meal for dinner that is rich in nutrients, that won’t hurt for him to swallow. He works hard for us and I want to outwardly express how much I appreciate him.
I have to go grocery shopping; I have been leaving that on “the plate” for a week now. (Add self judgement)
I have two group classes to attend that I organized. And because I am a scheduling Genius: at the exact same time: my daughter has Taekwondo -a hobby that she has just started and I admit without spell check I wouldn’t know how even to spell it let alone what it’s about. Already feeling like a “mom fail” I am thinking I will send her to her class in a cab (Amplify self judgement)
I have to send some info into the web designer, I have to study, and meal prep … there is always meal prep – and the list goes on and on.
I got overwhelmed and could not prioritize one thing as they all lead to another and it was a cobwebbed mess IN MY MIND.
The phone rang with one more “to do”…. And I panicked.
I don’t work FULL time, why can’t I make time for all this? My kids are older, in school, moved out even … why can’t I get things together? My husband will think I am the laziest person alive as he goes to work and is so productive, and I do …. what exactly? (HEAP on the self judgement)
It is hard to remember in this moment but, I have a tool for this….
My Mentor Field.
It is a place I go inside myself when I need to find solace and guidance.
I take a deep breath into my core
I close my eyes wherever I am and I am there.
I walk up the hill feeling the earth beneath me and air in my lungs.
My arms sway and I see my feet on the gravel and I know I am close.
I turn the corner and all at once, like the parting of the trees to reveal the view, my mind clears and my thoughts organize themselves like the clouds above – still there but out of the way for now.
New thoughts come and are moved to the clouds immediately, to be had later.
I simply stand,
I breathe in the view enjoying the Valley below, the rolling hills in front of me and I appreciate how the peeks of the trees kiss the sky.
It is here that he approaches and stands with me, quietly, strongly – as he always was. We observe all there is to see together.
I lean in and remember his smell, feeling his large hand slip into mine.
It is now that he smirks with his whole body as he often did, and laughs at how silly the whole thing is. All at once I hear his wisdom as passed down thru generations.
He loves me, I am showered in love. I feel his kiss and his whiskers on my face.
All at once he is gone.
All of my thought clouds have moved into place and I return down the hill
Opening my eyes I have new clarity, new priority, and new purpose.
The Judgements I held of me are recognized as that, only mine
And I release them
IN MY MIND I am clear and organized
Is it not true that
Our biggest obstacles are created and conquered IN OUR MINDS
I have many places I visit.
I have crisp mountain tops in provincial parks, a beachfront walk in Vancouver, a moonlit wander in the interior of BC, my mom’s kitchen table, my mom’s hospital bedside, my backyard – sometimes I invite my mentors and sometimes I sit alone with my Creator.
I invite you to find your place of clarity your “Mentor Field”
I invite you to welcome your mentor whoever it is and just listen
And let me know how it goes 🙂