Let your Yes be YES and your No be NO!
I am frustrated.
I am frustrated by all the indirect communication going on and the interpretations of it.
In a world that is quickly filling with the “spiritually intuitive, perceiving empathetic or knowing individuals” etc etc.
I am increasingly frustrated with the lack of communication that is actually happening.
Here is the situation- I am sitting at my desk and I get a message from a Friend from BC I haven’t talked to in awhile –
Friend -“You have been on my mind – whats up?” ….
Me- “UM I actually have no idea, you messaged me. Nice of you to think of me, you have crossed my mind as well. How are you?”
Friend- “I knew we are connected, I could feel you thinking of me. What do you NEED?”
Me- “Nothing, I’m working, do you need something?”
Friend- “so your mad at me”
Me- “Whaaa? Not at all – if I was I would tell you”
Friend- “Well there has to be a reason I was thinking of you”
At this point I pick up the phone because texting is the grown up (used that term lightly) equivalent of passing notes in school- its ineffective, and trendy but, really does not get your point across.
The next situation happened at a business meeting I was at last week.
I sat down in the board room and noted a draft above, the woman beside me gathered all her things and packed them in her briefcase (I thought she was leaving and we had not even started the meeting yet) then she stood up abruptly and said “switch seats with me – Your cold”
to which I responded “I am? Did I say that?”
“Well, no.. but I’m and intuitive”
I switched seats with her … not because I was cold, more so I was in shock that someone would presume to tell me how I feel and assume what I want or need.
I recognize her intention to be giving and kind and helpful. However I think we are missing a bigger picture. We are a current population of ASSUMERS and that passive aggressive garbage was in the self help books 20 years ago. As a populace we have continued the old behavior and justified it with a new title. Now I am not denying that we can feel each others energy, sometimes I can tell if my husband is in a bad mood by the way the garage door opes when he gets home, I am talking about when I look at my kids funny and they think I am mad, I close a cupboard door a little abruptly and then they argue with me that I am mad even though I assure them I am not! Which in turn makes me mad!!!
We are forgetting that as we are going through our days we have our own PERSONAL narrative playing, and it has everything to do with how we are perceiving reality around us and nothing to do with ANYONE else.
However: Sometimes, I don’t say what I want, I do things to try to get attention, or to act out my displeasure. I throw what I call “diversion bombs” and fight about what someone is wearing rather than address the fact that I don’t believe my opinion has with that individual, and the fact that they are wearing a shirt I don’t like proves my inner dialogue is right after all *eureka* (my inner recording is sometimes not in reality either)
This last week I was very brave and sat on the couch and said what was really the matter at hand, and truly what I wanted to see happen in the situation. I risked being hurt, rejected and laughed at, my entire body physically hurt while I talked. But, I did it.
What if we all just did it?
What if we meant what we said?
What if the person listening believed them?
What if our Yes always meant YES and our no always meant NO?
Would our conversations go deeper faster?
Would we have as many misunderstandings?
Could we relax and really listen without trying to hear the hidden code between the lines?
and Finally, What kind of a person would be able to do this?
Just my thoughts from here <3