This is a joke in our home, and it never seems to get old. We use it as we explain ADD / ADHD behavior, getting distracted, or rediscovering something. For me that’s movies – I forget movies almost immediately after the credits roll and I get up from my seat- and I can be very distracted. More often than not I walk into a room and forget why I am there, I put the eggs in the pantry and the cereal in the freezer- Maybe you do this and we have something in common, or maybe I am worse than I thought and I am the only one. In any case, this family joke came about after one of us read somewhere that a goldfish has a memory span of seconds. So as the goldfish swims around the tank its like a brand new adventure every couple seconds- OH LOOK A CASTLE!! two minutes later it swims by a BRAND. NEW. CASTLE. Life is NEVER as boring as I thought it was for a Goldfish.
I am a goldfish.
I can relate on so many levels! I am continuously brought back to experiences (hard lessons) that I thought I understood and received into my cells – only to learn them again, maybe from a new vantage point in the tank this time.
Then our joke evolved as my Brother in law posted a meme- He heard that goldfish grew to their surroundings so, he has now stopped wearing underwear (insert eye roll- but its kinda funny stuff, at least it got me giggling) Then I started to think about how that is so true of US as well. We grow to our surroundings do we not? When I was with CIBC I thought in terms of growth within the company, salary, position, posterity… I did not dream outside my tank- that’s all I could see. Moving to Halliburton I began a lifestyle that I LOVED. However this quickly lead to the discovery that this was my new tank *so-to-speak* and this was all the growth there was.
I also realized in those experiences that my circle changed each time. I evolved to where they were. You truly are the sum of your five closest peers. My Jargon changed, my jokes, my wardrobe etc. … It all evolved and grew to my surroundings. Fast forward to today and I have held office and field positions, I am looking around at the diverse group of groups I have accumulated over the years. and I love ALL of them, for VERY different reasons.
This is known as herding, and we humans like sameness and we like to be part of the herd. I touch on this a little in –Worldly- grandma said it, what does it mean to me now?
I have come to realize that I enjoy everyone who is acting in accordance with their beliefs. Authenticity is HUGE for me. Who are your five closest friends? What do they inspire from you? Some of my friends are there to tell me that life is not as serious as all that, I should rest and relax, play even. I need these contacts as I would become a work -aholic! Some of my friends are there to say “what have you done to challenge yourself lately”? How is that work project coming along? Still others remind me to just sit and find God, connect in prayer and trust that he’s got it, and has aligned with my authentic self for success. Others remind me that I am created by God to be a creator of my life, and to sit in my own authentic power. Some friends need me, and they remind me of how much I have to give, others just sit with me and remind me that I don’t have to give or do anything to be valued. I hope I have not droned on to much about this, I only mean to demonstrate the pendulum of support that keeps me centered and, how EVERY person/ group plays an intricate role in my life (and I hope you are reflecting on yours)
I have this one friend that swears ALL. THE. TIME!!! She is also a chain smoker and fairly high up in corporate America, she travels the world and when we get together we make truckers blush, we smoke too much and we solve world peace (telling no one as the Grinch would say) She’s bossy and I love it, she is no BS and puts me in my place. She listens so carefully and has the ability to see the issue and then she throat punches it. Sometimes our conversations hurt. Usually her part starts with “What the actual FFFF – were you thinking!!!” followed by “You HAVE too…. ” and she tells me all the things that I will do to fix it. I do it because she is bossy, and she cares for me deeply but in a completely terrifying scary way, and I love her and value her opinion. I cant hang around her too much tho. I become someone different around her. The more we are together, the less I have control of my swear words, my filter disappears and I am not fit to be around children, which is a problem because I have 2, and my husband doesn’t think pretty mouths should say ugly words. Further, I don’t smoke in life! She doesn’t make me act like that, I just do when she is around.
One of my other friends love to play. She invites me out to play all the time and we have so much fun together. She reminds me life is to be enjoyed, to be present, and to pull every moment of fun out of every day, we hike we camp we fish we hit Oj’s for wings, we throw BBQ’s and we laugh … OH. How we laugh! I cant hang around her too much tho. I become someone different around her. The more we are together the more I just want to play and expect every moment to be amazing fun, which is a problem because I have to work, and not everything that I have to do is fun, or amazing.
I am 40 this year, and maybe it is the age but, I am becoming intentional about what goes into my tank as I grow to my surroundings. I am intentional about who is in my tank and maybe how much air time I give them to influence me. I have sat back and asked how does this environment shape who I am becoming?
Who is filling your tank? Who inspires you to be more? Who are you becoming?
Just my thoughts from here<3