Happy blue Monday!! Now there is an oxymoron! Here we are a month into the new year and your life is in this perpetual sate destined to repeat the same patterns, Same $hit different day. This is the day that the holidays are truly at an end, the credit cards bills are rolling in and […]
“I’m happy with myself where I am at, I have accepted who I am. I call Bullshit. Straight. Up. Bullshit. Even competators who have just won trophies (who have the “perfect bodies” tonge in cheek) say things like – I’m so happy with the way I came in, I cant wait to build more legs, […]
I AM AN ADDICT *I take a breath* Boy, that was vulnerable and there is a ton of shame and blame that goes with that statement, even now. I have always known I have an addictive personality. I obsess over the smallest thing, for example: right now, I have TWO pkgs of cayenne pepper open […]
I heard a story once from one of my mentors. We were discussing “normal”. She frequently visited the States, as that is where her family lived, and she remembered her first Thanksgiving. The smell of turkey filled the warm home, cozy spices made their way into the linens and fresh apple pie sat cooling on […]
“Let’s GO CAMPING!!!” said no mother who stopped to think about it EVER. Ok – maybe that’s just me. Let’s run this through the JOYFILTER (this is a thing) – copious amounts of work to load and unload the RV, cooking, cleaning, watching kids who have death wishes and adventurous spirits, cleaning, meal prep, fighting […]
The cookies went around the circle. It was 2 o’clock, and I was hitting what I call “the wall”. I could sure use the sugar; my mood was dipping, my energy slipping … and they were these Digestive cookies with the chocolate on top. I used to have them when I was a kid. We […]
Secretly, I think you know who you are. I think secretly you know EXACTLY who I am talking about, and YES, you think this song is about you … and I am here to say – I know you know -and you know that I know you know that I know… I watch you walk […]
He said it to me as he looked me lovingly, purely in the eyes… I took a breath and exhaled the disbelief and inhaled the pure love it was said in. Snapshot that moment, and it hit me – I could rest, I could BE, I could just … And that, whatever it was – […]
All the lights faded, trophies had been given out, and I sat there … the crescendo of all my thoughts and emotions crashing down on me … I had just completed what felt like the longest prep season ever for a competition that I didn’t even want to be in … and … I sat […]
It’s been a while coming, but here are some before and after photos – At My Largest I was consuming 500- 900 Calories a day and I was approximately 188+ LBS I have a super messy story that is layered not only with intertwining stories but also perceptions of reality that are open to interpretation. […]
